Falling for Desire

I know very little about fairly tales but there was a time I lived in one. Tonight I’ll tell you a story about a girl that wasted my time, the girl’s name is Desire, She was my neighbor then while living at Mary hill and she is my neighbor now in Katete, the capital of Mbarara.

Growing up, I never had a lot of things that actually interested me but there was one thing I treasured most, “my friends”, yeah, that’s right, my friends, I had so many of them but I still remember I had one in particular, his name is Ricky, I remember him partly because, though he was younger than me, I ran errands for him, Ricky sent me to tell Desire certain things, I think he just wanted to be a friend but God forgive me, I never told the poor girl anything, i also wanted to tell her the same things, she was a real definition of beauty with brains, God’s masterpiece, He must have molded her with some other type of clay or created her on some other day just before creation but sadly enough she knew nothing about these secret crushes, the first time I saw her, we were at church and after the long session, I noticed she was moving in the same direction as mine and it was then that I discovered, the little girl lived in my hood, I started making plans on how to meet her in person and what to say for example, My name is Mathew, Uhhhh, “Do you have a name or you want me to guess?” but all this went down the day I discovered she had a brother, I knew then that it would not get hard for me to know her name but this took me a full month, I made friends with the guy and later came to know almost everything about their family, the father was a Deputy at Mary hill and the Mother went to some secondary school to do I don’t know what but all I know is that she was not a teacher, anyways, speaking about Desire, she was different, in her family, she was the only small kid and if you took a close look at her siblings, it was obvious that she was a gift from God, they looked way too different, back at my crib, I was devising plans on how to frequent her eyes but I discovered there was one way, thanks to the genius minds but I had a plan, this plan would actually let me not only see her but also touch her hands without her noticing she did, you must be asking yourself, ” how possible is that?” but here’s the plan, I knew that if I discovered where she sat during Sunday mass, I would get the chance to always sit behind her and at that point during mass where we seek peace from strangers, I would touch the little girl’s hands, how brilliant!!, weeks flew lightly by and my plan was working so well only that after mass, she moved out of church with her parents and she did this for almost 4 years and all those years, I was crushing on her but the only thing I could ever tell her was, “Hi, how you doing Desire” for four damn years, actually I reached a point where I felt it was too much and I felt pain everywhere, in my heart, in my eyes and though I was a kid, I felt something so real for this girl, i started going to a different church cause i got tired of the same old pain of seeing her when i cant actually talk to her, I loved till I could love no more and the funniest thing was that, the more I loved, the more I feared to say it out loud and the more I pretended like everything was just too fine, this bad habit has moved on and on up to date, I need somebody to come and get paid to curb it.

I had her name written on my shorts in pen ink and my set equipment, rulers and stuff with her name embedded and whoever made an attempt to ask me what it was all about, I told them, she was a young sister.

One day, I was at the basketball court and she came over with her brother, they walked around and sat together on court seats as i was watching from a distance, I followed her to the school rooms where she used to revise from and i learnt to do something i had never done, to revise, it was something so hard to do till I saw her do it, they used to go to those classrooms and read, then rest and then go back and read, it was not a simple task but thank God i did it, i spent the first twenty to thirty minutes before sleeping every night, the day i saw her, thinking about her, i remember i went as far as watching America has got talent TV series and started practicing how to juggle just so i could meet up with her and show off my abilities, or maybe make her smile since then, if it wasn’t her smiling, then there was no reason to call it a smile, I did it but never got the chance to show it off, it helped me later in high school to be a celebrity in school instead, Desire was on my mind everyday, every hour and almost all my childhood friends knew something about her, I remember in Form one, i wrote her name behind the examination paper after getting idle since i was always the first to get things done, it read, “Desire Te Amo” a Latin word meaning I love you, i still have the paper here with me, scored a 76% in it and kept it for memories sake, my Agriculture teacher called me in the staff room later on and asked me why i had written the note and threatened to reduce my marks if I didn’t tell him straight away but i told him instead that it was just a number mate at the neighbouring girl’s school, we settled the matters and i loved the whole process that day just because it reminded me of someone I liked, notice that this was the fifth year though not the last from the time i crushed on the girl but never got to tell her, i always used to say she wasted my time till I discovered I had wasted a great deal by myself, up to now I don’t know whether this story has a lesson I should learn and if its there, then somebody else will tell me cause am afraid to learn from tragedy.

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